Welcome to Really Really Short Reviews were the name is long and the reviews are short! Because sometimes short is that much sweeter. (Also, because I’m really lazy!) And there might be quotes too (lots and lots)! (Because everyone loves quotes, right?)
Clean Sweep (Innkeeper Chronicles, #1) by Ilona Andrews
Series: Innkeeper Chronicles #1
Published by Ilona Andrews on December 2nd 2013
Genres: Fantasy, Paranormal, Urban Fantasty
On the outside, Dina Demille is the epitome of normal. She runs a quaint Victorian Bed and Breakfast in a small Texas town, owns a Shih Tzu named Beast, and is a perfect neighbor, whose biggest problem should be what to serve her guests for breakfast. But Dina is...different: Her broom is a deadly weapon; her Inn is magic and thinks for itself. Meant to be a lodging for otherworldly visitors, the only permanent guest is a retired Galactic aristocrat who can’t leave the grounds because she’s responsible for the deaths of millions and someone might shoot her on sight. Under the circumstances, "normal" is a bit of a stretch for Dina.
And now, something with wicked claws and deepwater teeth has begun to hunt at night....Feeling responsible for her neighbors, Dina decides to get involved. Before long, she has to juggle dealing with the annoyingly attractive, ex-military, new neighbor, Sean Evans—an alpha-strain werewolf—and the equally arresting cosmic vampire soldier, Arland, while trying to keep her inn and its guests safe. But the enemy she’s facing is unlike anything she’s ever encountered before. It’s smart, vicious, and lethal, and putting herself between this creature and her neighbors might just cost her everything.
A quick read but such a fun and charming book. Also pretty darn hilarious.
Why this book was awesome:
1. Dina is a total badass and she can handle herself in all the situations.
“….Second, I thought you were just a normal person who somehow knew about werewolves. I didn’t have all the relevant information. Had I known you had a haunted house, a magic broom, and a devil dog on your side, my initial response would’ve been different.”
2. The love triangle that’s not a love triangle … because we all know who Dina likes. Plus this:
“I have spent my spare time studying literature popular with young women of this planet. One should always study the battlefield.”
Sean glanced at him. “And?”
“I suggest you give up now. According to my research, in a vampire-werewolf love triangle, the vampire always gets the girl.”
Pop culture reference, yeeah.
3. So much action! And I love that Dina is right in the middle of it all! (and the super awesome Inn!)
Oh no, you don’t. I flipped the spear thrust. “Put your weight into it, darling!” Mom’s voice said from my memories. I sank my entire momentum into the spear.
4. Sarcasm. And all the sass. Between Dina and Sean (mostly Dina to Sean). Need I say more?
“You will show that thing to me and from now on, I will deal with them.”
I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. “I’m sorry, I must’ve missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me.”
“It’s being handled. Your involvement isn’t necessary. You’re free to continue on your serial urination spree.”
“That suit has gone to your head.”
“It’s not the suit, buttercup.”
“I don’t do pet names.”
“Do you do werewolves?”
“Okay, I’m not talking to you anymore.”
“Did you hear that?” a woman asked. I crouched behind the growth. No. No, you didn’t hear anything. Don’t mind me, I’m not hiding the corpse of a nasty creature behind your flower bed. Nope. Nothing here but cute, fluffy bunnies scampering adorably into the night…”
Obnoxious smart-ass. Never been anywhere, never done anything, huh. Arrested development, huh. Considering that it was coming from a man who spent his nights peeing on his neighbors’ fences, that was rich. Shoot, I should’ve told him that.
a bum OT, procrastinator. reader. eater. sleeper. music listen-er. movie go-er. Loves food too much.